Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Twitter Won't Tweet

My Twitter won’t Tweet

Things are spiraling out of control. I think I have become lost in a world of electronic madness.

One of my sons informed me this week that my cell phone has become obsolete and I must head down to the Cell Phone store and get a phone that is contemporary with the time.

I pointed out that the fancy Razor/Slim line phone with camera built in that he made me trade my perfectly good flip-top Motorola cell phone for two years ago still works perfectly fine. Well, except for the camera thing. Never could figure that out.. Even the few times I actually did take pictures I couldn’t figure what to do with them and gave up.

That is except when I would push the wrong button and take a video of the ceiling or my feet.

Seems the issue is that I am unable to text with the tiny little 3 character buttons. “Hi, son,” would come out looking like, “Gh Qmo.” My grandkids have even spoken to my wife about Poppa’s crazy text messages. Give me a break. What ever happened to actually talking on a phone? Isn’t that what they were invented for?

They want me to get one of those phones that you can turn upside down and sideways and has a typewriter keyboard with keys about one-eighth the size of my pinky finger.

One of my four sons is a realtor whose real occupation is fly –fishing. “Way to go, son.”
Or in my text language, “Xbz um Io, rmo.”

We were floating the Yakima River in his guide quality drift boat south of Ellensburg, Washington. We were miles from anything remotely resembling civilization. Rock canyon walls were on either side of us. Bear with me as I try to explain this strange thing.

His “Blackberry” rang. It was blue and I asked him why it wasn’t called a Blueberry. He shook his head with that ‘dealing with an elder despair’ look I get a lot these days. It was another realtor who called to say that the sellers he represented had agreed to my son’s client’s changes and he had the signed documents in hand.

My son told him to FAX the papers to his office and he would get them signed and Faxed back, to close the deal that morning. A minute later the phone rang and he hit a few buttons and looked over the FAX, now on the Yakima River with us.

He then called his clients and told them he was Faxing the papers to them to sign and asked them to FAX them back to his office. While he was waiting, he hooked into a fat rainbow and was just releasing this 22 inch beauty as his phone rang again with the signed FAX from his clients.

He called the other realtor and told him he was sending the signed papers back by FAX. The deal was closed. He smiled and just said, “You are a little behind the times, Dad.” I guess I am.

I thought about the sixty million dollar a year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouse, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Nobles talking to my wife as every one in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-ul-ating” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone ring.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.

I bought some of those cloth re-usable bags to avoid looking confused but never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

Have a nice weekend

Old Ned

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Did I Hear You Right?


We went to our community pool yesterday during the late morning and I floated around with all the rest of the old guys, trying to have conversations with our hearing aids out. Had to laugh at the way some of the conversations went.

“The water feels great.”

“What’s that about grapes?”

“The weather is really turning hot.”

“You burned what pot?”

“Are you going to head north soon?”

“Who’s dead? So many people our age die.”

The thing is there were four of us floating around having this discussion and no one thought there was anything wrong. Each question received some answer and the next sentence would swing off that and so on.

Reminded me of that game we played years ago where someone would whisper a sentence in the next person’s ear and it would go around the room and the last person would say it out loud and it would be nothing like the first sentence and everyone would laugh. Except, now, we seem to get to the end of the game with the first pass.

My brother in law came over the other day with a new pair of those new hearing aids they advertise in the Desert Sun all the time. He gave up on his old pair. Said they squeaked all the time.

He said, “Wow, I just love these new aids. I can hear so good now and no background noises. I can hear everything now so plain.”

I said, Wow back. “I could sure use a set like that. What kind is it?”

He looked at his watch and said, “It’s three o’clock.”

I know I have problems hearing but didn’t realize that my wife was going deaf until the other day. I was in my study and could hear her in the kitchen. I yelled in, “what’s for Dinner?’ No answer.

I walked to the hallway door and yelled it again. Still no answer. Man, she has a real hearing problem. I finally walked into the kitchen and asked her again. She shook her head and said, “Ned, for the third time, I said we are having spaghetti.”

I try to get in the pool every day. My right knee is shot and it helps the pain. I am going to get knee replacement surgery on May 4th. The doctor says the new knee will last for twenty five years. I asked him if I should will it to somebody. I figured if I live that long, I’ll be duct taped to a chair with a drool towel, in some nursing home hallway and won’t need the knee any more.

My 20 year old hearing aids look almost brand new. I keep them in a box in a drawer in my bathroom. I figure I don’t need them as much as I used to. I really don’t need to know too much more than I used to know before my hearing went. Even when I do hear my wife telling me something I really need to know, I forget it before I need it anyway. I do have a little notebook she gave me to write things down but I keep losing it.

I am hoping I remember that her birthday is this Monday. Maybe one of you can remind me. I still have last year’s card I forgot to give her so I’m Ok there.

That’s ok with me if I don’t hear as good as I used to or that I can’t remember as much as I once did. I just read a book today that I read a month ago and couldn’t remember that I had read it. My wife told me she didn’t want to spoil my fun but that I had read it twice before. How does she know those things?

I think it’s all working out just fine, as far as I am concerned. I have about 6 or7 authors I like. At least that’s what I have in my bookcase. It saves buying new books.

I have over 100 Louis L'Amour books, but that’s another story. I bought them on eBay and I had to hide them in the garage and slowly sneak them into the house

I figure they should outlast my new knee.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

When Times Get Rough

When Times Get Rough

It seems like the anchors holding our nation together are breaking free. I do not know anyone who isn't impacted by the present economic turmoil and every time the government announces a new program , a new appointee, it seems we are heading for deeper water with a leaking lifeboat.

Paul said that he learned to be at peace in times of plenty and times of need [ the Old Ned Translation]. Trust God and He will never let you down and will hold you together in these tough times..

Today, I received this in my email pile:

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

Let's all believe that something good will happen to us; something that we have been waiting to hear.

My wife and I received some good new yesterday from our CPA. Our income last year was so much less than our outgo that we earned a negative net income. All the income taxes we paid are coming back in a nice tax return check.. wow! How good can it get?

Friday, April 10, 2009

My Momma Done Tole Me

My Momma Done Told me…

Don’t know why she has been on my mind so much lately. I loved my mom from the day I was born until the day she went to heaven with her arms stretched up and with a huge smile. and I still do love her and miss her.

I never heard my mom use a swear word. I rarely heard her say anything bad about anybody, including my father who often deserved to have things bad said about him. They had to be pretty bad people to get one of her looks and a word or two. Funny, it was in the last 15 years or so of their lives together that dad finally figured things out and they would walk around town together, arm in arm. He actually turned into a decent guy. I wish he had done that about 30 years earlier. But, she stuck with him.

I think the last time I saw my mom’s knees was when I was about 7 or 8. After that, they were gone. Mom would never leave the house without a dress and one of her many spectacular hats on. In her latter days, living in a senior center, she would dress as though she was heading for church just to go down the hall for her mail. Mom never drove a car, never smoked, never drank except in her last years, she would have a drop or two of wine at special dinners at our home.

Her last Christmas was at our house with 5 generations of her family mobbed, half buried in wrapping paper around her in the living room. She was so frail, but laughed the whole time. You see, Mom was an orphan. She ran away from the home she was in when she was 16 and married dad. Now she had a horde of a family. I treasure the time alone in the car with her when I drove her back to the care center. We held hands and smiled at each other.

For almost 20 years she was the receptionist and Sunshine Lady for the city Senior Center. The last few years were hard, because so many of her friends had died before her. I am beginning to understand how she felt. I have lost five good friends in the last month. I hate that. It is so hard to say goodbye. I cry a lot more now than I did when I was in my fifties or sixties.

My baby sister died in her early fifties from diabetes. Mom said a parent shouldn’t outlive her children. I understand that only too well. She is right. The pain is always there.

My older sister is in advanced stage four cancer and had already outlived the Doctors’ predictions, but she is hanging on the edge. She told me in January that she wanted to make it to her April 16th Birthday. I told her that she was being selfish again. I told her that if she really loved me, she would stick around for my birthday in November.

Speaking of my birthday, my mom always told me that I was a Thanksgiving baby, born on Turkey day. A few weeks ago, I was on a web site that tells you the day of the week you were born on if you put in your birth date. Mine came up on a Monday. I mean I got really upset with mom. I have been a Thanksgiving baby for over 70 years and now I’m just a regular Monday boy. Glad I didn’t find out when it really mattered, when I needed that special edge. There are some things you just don’t need to know the answers to.

It’s sort of like trying to understand our toaster. I know that when I push the bread down, the little wires get red hot and the bread gets toasted. I don’t understand why the wires get red hot every time and don’t just burn up or why you don’t get an electric shock if you touch them. I actually tested that a while ago. I pushed the lever down when it was empty and touched the not-yet-red-hot-wires. Nothing. I know there is a reason for this being so. I just don’t know what it is.

The older I get, the more I am realizing that there is a lot I don’t need to know and a lot I need to forget.

Well, I had to let the Thanksgiving thing go. It was just that I loved to have a big Thanksgiving dinner at our house and tell everyone to bring me presents.. Not big ones, just fun presents. . Now I need to try some other way. Maybe not tell anyone I was just a Monday boy. At least my birthday does fall on Thanksgiving every few years.

The whole Thanksgiving scam brought up other things from my youth I was better off not remembering. Like the time during the depression when she managed to get a small, whole chicken to bake for dinner. Mom made mashed potatoes and even made a nice apple pie. This dinner was a great leap from the potato soup and bread we usually had for dinner.

When dad came home, he invited the couple next door to have dinner with us. Mom called me into the kitchen and whispered that we didn’t have enough chicken for everyone and said, “Ned, when the chicken is passed around, say, ‘No thank you, I don’t want any.’ That way, we will have enough for the neighbors.”

I did what mom said and chewed on my mashed potatoes, swishing them through my teeth, watching everyone else eat the chicken down to the bone. Trying not to glare.

When the pie was being dished out, mom said, “I’m sorry, Ned, You don’t get any desert because you wouldn’t eat your chicken.” Such was the life of an obedient son.

You know, I appreciate the closeness we had that she could do that with me. Mom worked hard at a ladies’ dress shop all day, cleaned the house and managed my two sisters and me…. Dad stopped off every night at the bar on the corner when he was finished work and missed half our dinners and that was fine with me. When I was older mom would send me down to get him and that was never pleasant. But I did get to drink beer at a pretty early age and I became a pretty good shuffleboard player.

The strange thing was that I never got into trouble as a kid because I didn’t want to shame my mom. Kept me out of a lot of trouble. I was already working at age 11 and brought my pay home to mom until I left for college. That’s what you did in those days. Nobody talked about minimum wage or underage minors. 25 cents an hour for a 12 -14 hour Saturday was enough to feed the family Sunday dinner.

Mom taught me to be polite. It was always, “Yes Ma’am and Yes Sir.” A failure to take my hat off to a lady would get me a rap of knuckles on my head. She made sure she always thanked everyone who helped her in a store or restaurant. I still thank busboys for their service when they clear my table. I read name tags and use the name when talking to someone serving me. I smile, like mom always did for everyone.

I hope my kids will remember some of the things I have passed down to them. But, my wife, Carol, is just like mom. Just like the song…. Made it so much easier.

By the way, we went to the Indio City Hall offices the other day. What wonderful, helpful people work there. Almost like my mom trained them. We left with smiles a mile wide, just for being treated so nice.

Wish it were contagious. Let’s try.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Can I Get a LIttle Political?

Can I get a little Political? It isn’t much fun any longer

Will someone please just tell me what on earth is going on here? Sorry, but I have been pretty decent about keeping my political feelings to myself; well, at least I usually do my venting to just my wife, who listens for a while and then tunes me out. But, hey, help me out here. I feel like I am getting run over by a semi and don’t know how to get out of the way.

Point One:

I really don’t want to get political, but there are a few things going on in Washington that have me more than confused. I wish someone could just explain to me why Congress and the Senate and the media have been screaming for blood over the bonuses paid by AIG. Shouldn’t they be screaming at Sen. Dodd, who at the White House’s [sez him] instruction wrote in the approval for those bonuses after the bill came out of committee?

Seems AIG was only doing exactly what the Dodd stimulus shot in the arm had instructed them to do. I thought “Wow, these guys have to be really stupid.” Then, when the White House told Congress that as a result of AIG’s wasteful use of the stimulus dollars, it needed to grant the president more sweeping controls over the entire financial industry.. I thought ... “Wow, that was cunning. Who are the fools now?”

Will somebody please tell me what is going on? I’m still trying to understand how my toaster works.

Point Two:

I really agree with the President that we all need to cut back and watch how we allocate our spending if we are going to pull out of this recession. I have a watched my house and my retirement funds drop in value by 25%. I groaned as our monthly income dropped by around the same percent. We got rid of the high end gas guzzler SUV and drive a 9 year old car that takes regular and gets good mileage. We plan our outings to the stores and Doctors. We are doing our part, Mr. President. We really are.

Then I read this weekend that your traveling entourage to the G-20 Summit in England and your travels across Europe included 500 staff, including 6 doctors, two hairstylists, the White House Chef, 4 speech writers, 35 vehicles and 12 Teleprompters.

That all took a minimum of 4 jumbo jets and all the military escorts needed for protection. What on earth could possibly require 500 staff people for you to sit with the leaders of 19 other nations? How many hotel rooms? Meals? Secret Service people?

For goodness sakes. I bet you dumped 100 Million dollars on your jaunt. I yearn for my SUV. What was I thinking?

Point Three and I’m Outta Here.

I’m an old guy. I was raised in the Yes Ma’am, Yes, Sir Era. My momma told me to always be polite and I would get a stern rap on the top of my head when I wasn’t. Believe me; I learned that when I treated people with respect, they treated me with respect, even if I were half their age.

When I went into the business world, I found that my early training, a natural part of my life now, helped immensely. It didn’t matter if it was the Board Chairman or the guy cleaning the offices at night, I always gave them my best and they returned it.

A few years back, when I was having a custom home built, I would go out to the site every day with coffee and plenty of donuts to go around and made sure that even the day laborers were treated to the goodies and every worker was thanked for their work. We ended up with a great house built by people who took great pride in their work.

I said all that to say that there is a type of quality and character in a person who understands what respect does to any relationship. It goes spades when the person is the head of a sovereign nation. So, on to the actual issue .

I was watching TV when our President and First Lady greeted the Queen of England. There was no bow or curtsy in respect of her esteemed office. The real person of class was the Queen. That lack of respect offended a lot of British citizens. A shame.. Had they treated the Crown Head of our best ally with the respect due her, it would have cost them nothing and gained so much.

Please tell me. Was that a slip? I doubt it. If it was done on purpose, tell me why? Such a nice Lady. She showed the real class. I was so embarrassed.

Then last night I watched a clip of our President greeting the King [or whatever he is] of Saudi Arabia. This time, he formally bowed a really full-on bow from the waist. Seemed he could have kissed the King’s shoes he got so low. I was so embarrassed. Must have been his Muslim upbringing.

I could really use some help understanding what’s happening to my world right now. I think I am going to fix myself a really thick peanut and jelly sandwich and then top it off with a big dish of ice cream and chocolate syrup. I need serious comforting

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Update April 2009

A Note From Ed

With the Mormons and the Masons acting pretty quiet this week, let me share my thoughts in a few other areas. Stuff I don’t usually talk about.

Going through my daily email is usually a joy. There are so many diverse points of view and areas of need, people to meet; people to bless and be blessed by; doctrines to explain or defend. Every day is different. Many days, the e-mails total over 100 contacts. It is a workout and I am expected to always be right about everything I write.

I have four separate e-mail accounts that feed this system. One is my really personal, family one, one is the regular account that brings in e-mail from the web and the third is sort of a ‘worker’ address that I use in responding to all my ministry emails and purchases, etc. That one has been tied to my e-mail service provider for over ten years. The fourth is from my on line e-mail Newsletter Service provider. Whatever the routing, they all get to me through the magic of the Internet. It sounds more complicated than it really is.

It’s sort of like trying to understand our toaster. I know that when I push the bread down, the little wires get red hot and the bread gets toasted. I don’t understand why the wires get red hot every time and don’t just burn up or why you don’t get an electric shock if you touch them. I actually tested that a few years ago. I pushed the lever down when it was empty and touched the not-yet-red-hot-wires. Nothing. I know there is a reason for this being so. I just don’t know what it is.

The older I get, the more I am realizing that there is a lot I don’t need to know. I just know that, somehow, all these email from all over the world end up on a screen on my desk ever morning, just waiting. I grab my coffee and have at them with great interest and zeal.

It would be really great if some of you readers would send in a gift this week. We are really hitting rock bottom with the amount of support that has been coming in. Many dear long-time supporters have written in and apologized that they are in a tough spot and can’t give and I fully understand that. Carol and I have had to cut back in some of our giving for the same reasons.

But of just a third of you who receive this newsletter sent in $10 a month, we would be in the solid black every month. Simple. But hard to accomplish.

If you would just go to our website and click through on the Give a Donation bar in the left column of the main web page, it would only take you a minute and it is as easy as pie. And we would be beyond grateful. And your gifts are still tax deductible.

Another popular form of moving money through the web is PayPal. We use it for almost all our purchases and we like it because we always have control of our personal data. If that works for you, too, just send your gift to us at our PayPal account address, It takes even less time. You will still receive your gift acknowledgement and tax deduction.

Warmest regards,

Ed Decker

Yes, it really is my Interactive Blog. The one that tells it all, including my somewhat humorous ramblings on the joys of grand parenting and growing old in the slow lane. I also deal with my views regarding politics.

I include hunks of newsletters, special articles and personal studies, photos and best of all; it is open for your input, dialogue, questions and challenges.

It is Not a place to curse and revile me, use bad language and tell me what a son of Satan I am or you are. There is a filter and it is me.

Please Don’t Get Political.

I don’t want to get political, but there are a few things going on in Washington that have me more than confused. I wish someone could just explain to me why Congress and the Senate and the media have been screaming for blood over the bonuses paid by AIG. Shouldn’t they be screaming at Sen. Dodd, who at the White House’s [sez him] instruction wrote in the approval for those bonuses after the bill came out of committee.

Seems AIG was only doing what Dodd stimulus shot in the arm has instructed them to do. I thought “Wow, these guys have to be really stupid.” Then, when the White told Congress that as a result of AIG’s wasteful use of the stimulus dollars, it needed to grant the president more sweeping controls over the entire financial industry.. I thought ... “Wow, that was cunning. Who are the fools now?”

Will somebody please tell me what the heck is going on? I’m still back there trying to understand my toaster.

E-Mail Response to a Mormon Apologist

This week, in the email response to my E- Newsletter, was a letter from a Mormon, who challenged me a week or so ago to respond to three ‘accusations’ from groups like FARMS [LDS apologetics group]. He claimed that I had lied when I said I answered all questions regarding doctrinal heresies of the LDS Church. He said I never answered the ones he listed. I gave him several web addresses on our site that did answer the questions.

Well, anyway, I am telling you this because one of the items was a bit of an odd thing dealing with the Chinese Characters for the Name, Mormon. It still turns their ears red when this silly little issue of the Chinese characters for the name, Mormon pops up. The Mormons claim that I said that it meant that. I said and repeat now that I only reported what they said it represented. Silly stuff.

The Chinese Characters for “MORMON

The Chinese Characters for Mormon is the same as is for "the Gates of Hell." That story is old enough to vote. My first encounter with it was in a Newspaper article.

While interviewing the Mission President of Hong Kong Mission and or a Missionary or two, one of them stated with a chuckle that it was sometimes hard to share about the church because the name MOR MON in Chinese characters meant Gate of Hell.

I shared that story/article in a newsletter. A year or so later my wife and I were in Hong Kong and went to a small store that took American names or statements like "The Smith Family lives here" or " Our Love is forever" and wrote down the name MORMON in block letters.

I handed it to the elderly man there and asked him to make the Chinese character[s] for that name. He looked at it and went back into the shop and had an energetic conversation with several of the people there and came back and told me he did not think I should have it done because the two characters also meant gates and hell.

I asked him to do it anyway and not to put down any title or name on it. He did so and we left. I then took the paper with the characters on it and asked the desk clerk at the hotel and several other Chinese people to interpret it for me. Got the same answer..

That's what I reported and it doesn’t matter who says otherwise. I know what I know. And that's the truth you can take to the bank. But the stuff still floats out there years later...

LDS members conflicted on church's illegal-migrant growth

USA Today April 3, 2009

Reporting on article
By Daniel González, The Arizona Republic

70% LDS Latino Growth Illegal Aliens

The Mormon Church is one of the fastest-growing denominations in the country, and much of that growth is coming from an unlikely source: Latino immigrants.
Latinos overwhelmingly are raised Catholic, but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is aggressively reaching out to them by touting the religion's heavy focus on family and community, pillars of the Mormon faith that are also at the center of Hispanic culture.
As a result, Latinos are joining the Mormon Church at a greater rate than members of any ethnic group, even Anglos, church leaders say.
But the outreach has created some unusual conflicts because the majority of the Latino converts are undocumented immigrants, which goes against a major tenet of the Mormon Church: obeying the law.
Brigham Young University history Professor Ignacio Garcia….. estimates that nationwide, 70% of all Latino converts in the past 10 to 15 years are undocumented immigrants.

Excerpted from:

Meanwhile, on FOX TV and Elsewhere In The World
It’s The Glenn Beck Show.

What I am still trying to figure out is what kind of Mormon Glenn Beck really is. He talks like he is a dyed in the wool Mormon. He has all the buzz words down. In a recent article in NEWSMAX, he gave the proper LDS picture of the coming seven years of tribulation [stock up, folks] and the thousand year reign of Christ.

I did notice that he failed to mention that the LDS Jesus would reign over the LDS priesthood here in America.

But here is a recently obscure talk jock from a small market who suddenly has a grip on the prime News network, [Yes Fox is number one] in one of the prime time slots with a repeat late night time slot… How do things like that happen? Even guys like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Riley spent years paying their dues.

The thing I can’t get a grip on is wondering if he is some kind of new deal Mormon, some sort of new face of Mormonism to get people to think that Mormons are hip, cool, in-your-face guys who actually think.

The things that often come out of his mouth would have me quickly disfellowshipped when I was a Mormon, but these rough-edged gentile words flow like candy drops out of his mouth and everyone claps Brother Glenn on the back each Sunday as he drops his tithing check off for the bishop.

I have a hard time seeing Brother Beck in the Temple with his sacred underwear and fig leaf apron, moving his sash from shoulder to shoulder and playing with his baker’s hat, sticking his arms through holes in a sheet, chanting “health in the navel, marrow in the bone” and giving his secret handshakes. Tell us it isn’t so, Brother Beck. Please.

It leaves me dazed. Please, anyone with any insight [I have none] as to what the real story is, let me in on the secret. I know the special handshake.

Saints Alive Ministries P.O. Box 1347 Issaquah WA 98027