Monday, July 1, 2013

Making Mormon Spirit Babies

Making Mormon Spirit Babies
Ed Decker takes a look at the life
Of a Mormon exalted man/god

Mormons believe that when a worthy Mormon man  becomes a god over his own planet and gets his many polygamous, goddess wives, they must reproduce spirit children, having sex the same way they did on earth [remember, they are physical beings]    But in order to populate a planet like earth, the god-man has a big job cut out for him in the reproducing area.

Forgetting about any of his other responsibilities as a god, look at the job of just making babies and keeping his wives eternally pregnant…

Demographers have come up with estimates ranging between 69 billion and 110 billion humans who have lived on earth. . That gives us a spread of 41 billion, a pretty formidable margin of error.

One study   estimates that 96,100,000,000  people have lived on the earth to date.    
 Another study says: 1

Let’s assume for simple math that there have been 100,000,000,000 or 100 billion people who have lived and are yet to live on the earth before then end of time.

For purposes of a simple mathematical look at the idea of sexually producing pre-existent spirit beings to people the next earth, the LDS man who becomes a god, would have his  hands full, working at a high speed  assembly line rate and assuming that every  single  ‘encounter’ produces a spirit child.

If you estimate that the rate is 1 Celestial  Impregnations Every 5 Minutes  = 12  per hour= 288  days = [ not counting the Sabbath, LDS day of ‘rest’] 1728 impregnations  =  89,856  per year. 

Assuming he is able to say hello, arrange the physical situation, impregnate the wife,  and be at the next goddess in less than 5 minutes,  the maximum goddesses would have to be about  90,000  exalted women, with another non sexual 10,000 or so to take care of the babies for the goddess wives who rush back into this baby factory assembly line.  This is not counting bathroom breaks, eating or sleeping…

Let’s assume that this man god is working day and night at just his reproductive responsibilities of one goddess every 5 minutes, it would take 11 million, 128,917 years of non-stop, vigorous sexual  action to create all the spirit beings for a place like earth.

A more laid back god who might want to spend some quality time with his  “families are forever” wives and children would perhaps like to give  each family one hour of his entire year and complete just 1  impregnation while there at the family home.  He would have to spend 12 times as many years….over 133 million years at the rate of 1 impregnation per hour.

And the Mormons   call that celestial glory?