Making Mormon Spirit Babies
Ed Decker takes a look at the life
Of a Mormon exalted man/god
Mormons believe that
when a worthy Mormon man becomes a god
over his own planet and gets his many polygamous, goddess wives, they must
reproduce spirit children, having sex the same way they did on earth [remember,
they are physical beings] But in order
to populate a planet like earth, the god-man has a big job cut out for him in
the reproducing area.
Forgetting about any of
his other responsibilities as a god, look at the job of just making babies and
keeping his wives eternally pregnant…
Demographers have come
up with estimates ranging between 69 billion and 110 billion humans who have
lived on earth. . That gives us a spread of 41 billion, a pretty formidable
margin of error.
One study estimates that 96,100,000,000 people have lived on the earth to date.
Another study says: 106,456,367,669
Another study says: 106,456,367,669
Let’s
assume for simple math that there have been 100,000,000,000 or 100 billion
people who have lived and are yet to live on the earth before then end of time.
For purposes of a
simple mathematical look at the idea of sexually producing pre-existent spirit
beings to people the next earth, the LDS man who becomes a god, would have his hands full, working at a high speed assembly line rate and assuming that
every single ‘encounter’ produces a spirit child.
If you estimate that
the rate is 1 Celestial Impregnations Every
5 Minutes = 12 per hour= 288 days = [ not counting the Sabbath, LDS day of
‘rest’] 1728 impregnations = 89,856
per year.
Assuming he is able to
say hello, arrange the physical situation, impregnate the wife, and be at the next goddess in less than 5
minutes, the maximum goddesses would
have to be about 90,000 exalted women, with another non sexual 10,000
or so to take care of the babies for the goddess wives who rush back into this
baby factory assembly line. This is not
counting bathroom breaks, eating or sleeping…
Let’s
assume that this man god is working day and night at just his reproductive
responsibilities of one goddess every 5 minutes, it would take 11 million, 128,917
years of non-stop, vigorous sexual
action to create all the spirit beings for a place like earth.
A
more laid back god who might want to spend some quality time with his “families are forever” wives and children
would perhaps like to give each family one
hour of his entire year and complete just 1 impregnation while there at the family home. He would have to spend 12 times as many
years….over 133 million years at the rate of 1 impregnation per hour.
And
the Mormons call that celestial glory?
