Thursday, March 11, 2010

Another Day at The DMV

Just another day at the DMV.

Posted 3/11/2010 11:58 AM PST on

Been in Seattle for a few weeks of medical tests and vigorous prodding, trying to figure out why my body is starting to act like one with its own mind about how, why or where it is or is not going. A good friend said it wasn’t age that gets you, it’s the mileage. Guess that’s true. Even my walker won’t go where I aim it.

Because of a return of dyslexia, I have been banned from the computer for a while, but had to share a few funny things this morning anyway.

Got a call from a broken hearted, angry with the system, granddaughter the other day. Seems she was taking her driver’s test and the instructor/tester guy told her half way through the driving test to turn around and return to the DMV. She had already far exceeded the number of errors to pass the test.

I had to laugh. Her older uncle, who, today, is a certified race car driver, flunked his first test when he ran a stop sign. He told the instructor that he had already stopped at a stop sign a block away and didn’t think it made sense that they would make him do it twice. Glad he doesn’t drive Toyotas.

His older brother was told to pull off the road five minutes into his test and told to breathe normally for 5 minutes before resuming the test. He passed thanks to a caring instructor.

One lady I know not only failed but was given a ticket for freezing up and blocking a Fire Engine from getting out of its garage onto the street. Her excuse was that the all the sirens scared her.

My wife was driving her car through an intersection, on a green light when she was broadsided by a car, whipping through against the red light. Turned out it was a young girl taking her driver’s test. Through her tears, she cried out to the instructor, “Does this mean I don’t pass the test?”

My Neighbor and I were walking out of a DMV office after getting bus driver OKs for our licenses. A car a was pulling into the parking slot by the door, as a happy mom was waving victory signs at her son, who continued to drive straight through the plate glass window and into the waiting room.

You gotta wonder what goes through the minds of these dear souls who get into cars with these new drivers. I think there is a lot of fear.

I was moving from one state to another and it required that I take the driving test to get the new license. I was like number 4 on the list and the car with number three came in, jumping the curb crossing the sidewalk and landing against a chain link fence.

The officer slowly got out, filled out some paperwork, quietly told the young lady to take it in to the clerk and turned to me, standing at the door of my own vehicle.

“Get in,” he said sharply, which I quickly did.

He put his head back against the head rest. “Drive.”


“Anywhere. Just drive and don’t talk.”

Fifteen minutes later, he let out deep sigh and said, “OK, Let’s go back now. Just don’t talk.”

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into a free spot at the DMV and he stepped out, smiled, said thanks and handed me a sheet that said PASSED.

Just one last story: I was renewing my license and slowly working my way out of a very crowded parking lot when a young girl backed out right smack into the side of my old beater 1976 Ford pick-up.

The Kid was beyond destroyed. The look of immediate death was written all over her face.

Her mother, first time passenger with daughter was moaning like a cow birthing its first calf.

I looked at the dents she made among the many other dents to the truck over the years, smiled wistfully and said.. “Having lived through this with 7 of my own kids, I understand your pain. Mom, drive your daughter home and be happy my BMW is in the shop.”

With that, I hopped back into my truck, did not look back and finally worked my way out to the real world, away from the world of the DMV.

At least down here in the desert, we don’t have as much of an issue since a third of the drivers have never visited a DMV office to take the tests.Comments (0)
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