Thursday, July 22, 2010

Things In The Mirror

I was reminded this morning of the little notice etched into the side view mirror of my car. It states “Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.”

I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom after I had showered. Try not to dwell on the imagery. It will hurt you. I thought, “Objects in the mirror are much larger than they appear.” …This object appeared quite large to begin with, even before the shower. …I stared down at the floor and my eyes settled on the scale thereon.

Did I want this object to step on that scale and find out just how much larger it was this morning, or did I want to go on with life as usual, with a kind of ignorance may not be bliss, but it does work kind of a day.

I looked back in the mirror. I sucked in my gut, flexed my remaining muscles, lifted my chin high to remove the three that had grown under the original chin and held my breath. Still much larger and now in pain. I exhaled, threw my towel over the scale and began my day.

One needs to understand that this body has been fighting gravity and the effects of an obsession with comfort foods for over 27,000 whole days… Not an easy task for anyone… and lately I don’t need anyone to tell me that I have been losing the fight for some time. There are some things you just have to live with when you get to be over 27,000 days old.

That’ why I love living in a seniors-only development. I am around guys just like me. We don’t compare abs anymore. If we compare anything, its who has more hair growing out of his ears.

Most of the fellows my size who have been working out at the fitness center for the past 5 years still look the same. I just walk through the area rapidly and save a whole lot of energy that I can put to use elsewhere, like in the hot-tub, pool or the chaise lounge chairs.

I feel good by comparison in many ways. My walker has bigger wheels than a lot of guys’. I have yet to fall out of my golf cart. I am still quite young by some standards.. My neighbor John fell asleep on his way to the mailbox a few days ago. That hasn’t happened to me yet.

My other neighbor, Len, came over the other day and told me he was so thrilled with his new hearing aid. I asked him what kind was it. He said, “It’s a quarter to three. I’d better get going or I’ll miss the early bird special at Mario’s.”

I’m not quite that bad yet, but I did run in and tell my wife that there was an early bird special at Mario’s and we’d better get moving.”


  1. I hope you got to Mario's. It sounds to be an essential part of your regime.